Questions Engaged Couples Should Ask Each Other
- insightmediamgmt
- 3 minutes ago
- 7 min read
Getting engaged is one of life’s most joyful milestones. There’s the celebration, the ring, the planning, and that exciting sense of we’re really doing this. But in the middle of venue tours and Pinterest boards, there’s something just as important happening behind the scenes: building a foundation for the rest of your lives.
Engagement is more than wedding prep. It’s relationship prep. And while planning a day you’ll remember forever is part of the fun (especially somewhere as peaceful and meaningful as Chapman Hill in Northeast Georgia), the questions you ask each other now can have a far bigger impact than what kind of cake you choose.
These aren’t just logistics or planning questions. These are the deeper, emotional, and practical conversations that help turn a couple into a team. So, carve out some time—maybe over coffee, during a drive through the foothills, or on a quiet night in—and start talking.
Here are some of the most important questions engaged couples should ask each other before the wedding day.
Photo - @ae.videography.photography | Florals - @florals.sophialynn
1. What does marriage mean to you?
It may seem obvious, but people often come into marriage with different internal definitions. Is it a partnership? A spiritual covenant? A legal or financial arrangement? A lifelong friendship?
Understanding what marriage means to your partner helps clarify their expectations and gives insight into how they see the future. It also sets the tone for what kind of commitment you’re making—and what kind of support you’ll offer each other long term.
2. What does a happy home look like to you?
For some, it’s a house full of kids and pets. For others, it’s minimal, quiet, and intentional. Do you want to live in the country or the city? Do you want a home that’s always open to guests or a private retreat?
Getting clear on the kind of environment you each thrive in helps you plan not just where you live—but how you live together.
3. How do you handle stress, conflict, or change?
This question can be a game-changer. Learning each other’s emotional patterns—what you need when you’re overwhelmed, how you argue, what resolution looks like—can prevent miscommunication in the future.
Are you someone who needs space during a disagreement? Or do you prefer to talk things out right away? Is your partner someone who shuts down under pressure or someone who over-functions? These are important dynamics to understand before marriage so that neither of you feels alone in future challenges.
4. What role does money play in your life?
It’s no secret that finances are one of the most common sources of conflict in marriages. That’s why it’s so important to have honest, judgment-free conversations about money before the wedding.
Ask each other things like:
What did money look like in your family growing up?
Are you a saver or a spender?
Do you prefer budgeting or more flexible financial habits?
How do you feel about debt, loans, or credit cards?
What are your financial goals in the next five years?
This is also a good time to discuss whether you’ll combine accounts, keep them separate, or do a little of both. The important thing is alignment—not identical habits, but shared priorities and transparency.
Photo - @maggiekaranjaphoto | Floral - @bloomandivyweddings
5. What kind of life do you imagine in five, ten, or twenty years?
This is about vision, not a fixed plan. Talk about the feel of the life you want to build. What kind of work-life balance matters to each of you? Do you want to travel often? Own property? Start a business? Stay close to family or move around?
Even if things change (and they will), knowing what you both value gives your marriage direction. And it helps ensure you’re building toward something together.
6. Do you want children? If so, what kind of parents do you want to be?
Not everyone wants to have children, and some couples may be unsure. This is a deeply personal conversation, and it’s one worth revisiting over time as your relationship grows.
If you do want children, take the time to talk about:
How many?
When?
What kind of parenting values matter to you?
How will you balance work, rest, and parenting duties?
What kind of education or experiences do you hope to offer them?
Even if you already know your answers, hearing your partner’s perspective can be eye-opening and strengthen your bond.
Photo - @summlight_photography | Florals - @pannelldesigns_events
7. How do you give and receive love?
This one can be as light or as deep as you want. You might use the five love languages as a framework—words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch—or just talk more generally.
Do you feel loved when someone runs an errand for you without being asked? Or when they write a thoughtful note? Understanding each other’s love languages helps prevent miscommunication and builds emotional intimacy.
You don’t need to speak the same language, but you do need to learn to hear and express love in ways that are meaningful to your partner.
8. What are your non-negotiables?
Everyone has boundaries, values, and hard lines that help them feel safe in a relationship. For one person, that might be a boundary around work-life balance. For another, it might be needing honesty, time alone, or shared spiritual beliefs.
Asking this question invites your partner to express what truly matters to them—and offers the opportunity for mutual respect and support.
Photo - @karahunter_photography | Floral - @bloomandivyweddings
9. How will we take care of each other?
Marriage comes with high seasons and hard ones—illness, loss, burnout, career changes, mental health struggles. Talking about caregiving before it’s needed can make those moments more navigable.
What does being there for each other actually look like? How do you want to be supported when you’re going through something difficult? How will you care for each other in practical, emotional, and spiritual ways?
It’s not always glamorous, but these are the quiet, loving moments that deepen a marriage over time.
10. How will we keep our connection strong?
Long-term relationships take intention. Ask each other how you’ll prioritize connection even during busy or stressful seasons. Will you do weekly date nights? Have check-ins? Spend mornings together before the day starts?
Life has a way of getting loud. Asking this question now sets you both up to keep choosing each other on purpose.
11. What traditions do you want to carry forward—or start fresh?
Weddings are full of traditions, and so is married life. Do you want to celebrate certain holidays in a specific way? Keep Sunday breakfasts sacred? Start an annual trip?
Talk about what rhythms or rituals feel meaningful to you—and which ones you want to leave behind. Blending two lives often means blending two family histories. Starting your own traditions can be a joyful way to honor your new life together.
12. How do you want to handle differences in our families or upbringings?
Every couple brings different family dynamics, cultural norms, and expectations into a marriage. Maybe one of you is extremely close to your family, and the other prefers more independence. Maybe holidays are celebrated differently, or there’s a difference in faith, discipline styles, or communication.
Talk openly about how you’ll navigate those differences as a united front. The goal isn’t perfect agreement—it’s mutual respect and a shared plan.
Photo: @austyn_seitz_photography | Floral: @ruthies.flowers
13. What does intimacy mean to you?
Physical intimacy is a core part of most romantic relationships, but emotional and relational intimacy are just as essential. Ask each other what makes you feel emotionally close. How do you stay vulnerable and connected? How do you repair after disconnection?
This question invites honesty and trust—two things that every strong marriage needs.
14. What makes you feel most like yourself?
Understanding what brings each other joy, peace, creativity, or confidence helps you support your partner as an individual, not just as a spouse.
Ask: When do you feel most grounded? Most inspired? What lights you up—and what drains you? How can we make space for each other to grow, not just together, but as whole, evolving people?
Photo - @weddingbug_studios
15. Are we on the same page about wedding expectations?
Finally, one practical—but important—question. Make sure you’ve talked about what kind of wedding you each want. Big party or small gathering? Formal or relaxed? Religious or secular? Who’s contributing financially? Who’s helping plan?
Places like Chapman Hill in Northeast Georgia are designed to support weddings of all shapes and sizes, but the experience will be smoother if you’re aligned about priorities, budget, and tone.
Getting clear on the wedding itself can reveal deeper values and create a shared vision you’re both excited about.
Photo - olivia_rosephotography
You don’t need to ask all of these in one sitting. In fact, the best way to use questions like these is to let them spark conversation over time—on walks, road trips, lazy Saturdays, or even venue visits.
At Chapman Hill, we believe your wedding should reflect not just your style, but your story. And part of that story is the conversations, quiet moments, and shared dreams that brought you here. These questions aren’t about perfection. They’re about connection. And the more you understand each other now, the stronger your marriage will be when the wedding is long behind you.
So slow down. Talk it out. Laugh. Listen. And remember: planning the day is beautiful, but preparing for the life? That’s where the real magic begins.
***
We hope to use our platform to create awareness for the value of supporting locally owned wedding venues. You can help support amazing locally owned wedding venues across the country by writing a Google review, following their social media accounts and referring locally owned wedding venues whenever you have the opportunity. We sincerely appreciate your support and want to share a shout out to some of our wedding venue owner colleagues around the country.
Please consider a locally owned venue, you can find locally owned wedding venues featured on this wedding venue map.
We’re thrilled to be nominated for the 2025 Best of Georgia Awards! Every vote counts, and we need yours. Cast your vote today to help Chapman Hill Weddings + Events win! gbj.com/best-of/vote/venue-events #BESTofGEORGIA
Comments