How to Give Your Wedding Vows: Finding the Right Moment for You
- insightmediamgmt
- Oct 31
- 6 min read
Okay, we know—writing vows can feel like a lot. So before you get too serious, take a minute to laugh together. Grab a paper and a pencil, write down the first words that come to mind, read them aloud to each other, and see how long you can keep a straight face.
💍 Wedding Vow Mad Lib Word List
Name
Adjective
Verb
Place
Noun
Verb
Adjective
Verb
Noun
Food
Animal
Noun
Occupation
Verb
Plural noun
Plural noun
Verb
Adjective
Verb
Celebrity
Food
Noun
Adjective
Noun
Noun
Body part
Your name
My dearest [name],
You are the most [adjective] person I have ever met. From the moment I saw you [verb] at [place], I knew my [noun] would never be the same.
You make me [verb] every single day, even when you’re [adjective]. I promise to always [verb] your [noun] and to share my [food] with you forever.
I vow to be your [animal], your [noun], and your one true [occupation].
Together, we’ll [verb] through [plural noun] and [plural noun], and still make time to [verb] on the weekends.
No matter how [adjective] life gets, I’ll always [verb] you more than [celebrity] loves [food].
You are my [noun], my [adjective] [noun], and my forever [noun].
With all my [body part],[Your name]
Photo - @southernframe_studio | Coordinator - @lovelydayweddings
Your wedding vows are one of the most personal parts of your entire celebration. They’re your chance to pause amid the swirl of flowers, family, and “I do’s” and simply tell your person what they mean to you. And while traditional ceremonies often save vows for the altar, there’s no rule saying that’s the only time—or even the best time—to share them.
Every couple has their own rhythm, comfort level, and story. Some love a grand, tear-filled moment in front of friends and family. Others prefer something quieter, just between the two of them. What matters most is choosing the setting that feels natural to you.
Let’s explore a few ways to approach it—whether you read them privately during your first touch, leave them for each other before the ceremony, or stand up and speak them aloud in front of everyone you love.
1. Reading Your Vows During Your 'First Touch'
A first touch is already an emotional moment. You’ve spent all morning apart—getting ready, feeling the anticipation—and suddenly you're with each other for the first time. Adding vows to that moment can make it even more intimate and memorable.
Reading your vows during your first touch is perfect if:
You want the emotional release of saying your vows privately, without the pressure of an audience.
You’re nervous about crying or stumbling over words in front of guests.
You want your ceremony to be shorter and simpler, but still meaningful.
Photo - @southernframe_studio | Coordinator - @lovelydayweddings | Floral - @jldesignsweddings
When you exchange vows during your first touch, it’s just the two of you (and maybe your photographer quietly capturing it from a distance). You can speak freely, take your time, laugh, cry, and even ad-lib without worrying about keeping it “formal.”
It’s also a wonderful way to ground yourselves before the ceremony. Couples often say that reading their vows privately made them feel calm and connected before walking down the aisle—it becomes a shared secret that carries them through the rest of the day.
If you choose this option, think about where to do it. A tucked-away garden, a quiet spot on the property, or even the corner of your ceremony site before guests arrive can all make for a beautiful backdrop.
2. Writing Vows to Be Read Privately (Without Speaking Them Aloud)
If public speaking really isn’t your thing—or if you simply want to keep your words entirely between you and your partner—you can write your vows for each other to read privately.
Some couples slip handwritten letters under each other’s doors the morning of the wedding. Others have their coordinator deliver them to the suites while they’re getting ready. A few even exchange them after the ceremony, once the day has quieted down.
There’s something deeply romantic about this approach. It lets you express every thought without worrying about an audience, timing, or tears. You can write freely, say exactly what you feel, and still create a keepsake that lasts forever.
If you’re doing this, take a few extra moments to make it special:
Write your vows in a small notebook or on fine stationery rather than printing them from your phone.
Seal them in an envelope, maybe with a small token—a pressed flower, a Polaroid, or a piece of your invitation.
Ask your photographer to capture you each reading them separately. The photos of those moments—laughing, tearing up, holding the letter—often end up being some of the most cherished of the day.
You can still include traditional vows during the ceremony if you like, but this private exchange gives your words a personal weight that’s entirely your own.
3. Sharing Your Vows During the Ceremony
For many couples, reading vows aloud during the ceremony is a tradition they’ve dreamed about since they got engaged. There’s something undeniably powerful about standing up in front of everyone you love and declaring your promises to one another.
This option is perfect if:
You want your guests to witness that emotional exchange and feel part of your story.
You love the idea of creating a memory that ties directly to the ceremony itself.
You both feel comfortable speaking publicly—or at least excited enough that the nerves are worth it.
If you go this route, there are a few ways to make it flow smoothly:
Keep them short and sincere. Aim for about one to two minutes per person. Long vows can start to lose energy, especially outdoors or in warm weather.
Have a copy handy. Write or print your vows on a card that fits easily in your hand or pocket. Avoid reading off your phone—it can break the moment’s mood.
Decide on the order. Usually one partner goes first (often whoever isn’t walking down the aisle). Your officiant can help cue the timing so it feels natural.
Practice aloud. Reading your vows to yourself once or twice helps you feel comfortable with your pacing and tone.
Ceremony vows don’t have to be perfectly polished. The pauses, the tears, even a little laughter—they all make it real. Guests love hearing something that feels genuine.
If you’re nervous, remember: no one is judging your delivery. They’re there because they love you.
Photographer - @CourtneyCainPhoto.co | Florals - @jldesignsweddings | HAMU - revive_salonmonroe
How to Decide What’s Right for You
So, how do you choose between these options? Start with your personalities.
Are you more private, or do you love being in the spotlight? Do you picture your vows as something sacred and quiet, or do you want them to be part of the story everyone witnesses?
You can even combine approaches:
Read personal vows during your first touch then recite traditional vows during the ceremony.
Write private letters for the morning of the wedding, and save a short toast or promise for the reception.
Exchange vows at the ceremony, but also write an extended version to read again on your anniversary.
There’s no wrong way to do it. The goal is to make the moment reflect you.
Tips for Writing (and Delivering) Your Vows
A few parting thoughts as you prepare your words:
Write early. Don’t wait until the night before. Give yourself time to think, edit, and reread with fresh eyes.
Be yourself. If you’re funny, let that show. If you’re sentimental, lean into it. There’s no need to sound like anyone else.
Use stories. Mention one or two specific moments that define your relationship—it makes your vows feel grounded and real.
Make promises. The word “vow” literally means a promise. Include a few that matter deeply to you, whether serious or silly.
End with heart. Finish with one strong, simple line that sums up what your love means.
However and wherever you choose to share your vows, what matters is that they’re yours. Say them privately, write them for each other, or speak them before everyone you love. There’s beauty in every version. The magic comes from meaning what you say—and saying it in a way that feels true to you.
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