How to Keep the Peace Without Losing Your Mind
Weddings are supposed to be about love, celebration, and the start of a beautiful new chapter—but sometimes, they also come with unexpected family drama. If your future in-laws are overstepping, opinionated, or just plain difficult, don’t panic. You’re not alone! At Chapman Hill Weddings + Events, we’ve seen it all—from future MILs demanding control over the guest list to sibling rivalries boiling over at the reception. The good news? You can navigate in-law drama like a pro while keeping your sanity (and your wedding plans) intact.
Let’s break down how to set boundaries, keep the peace, and ensure your wedding day stays about you.
photo: @ae.videography.photography
1. Identify the Source of the Drama
Before you can handle it, you need to understand why it’s happening. Ask yourself:
Are they feeling left out of the wedding planning?
Do they have strong cultural or family traditions they expect you to follow?
Are they trying to control your guest list, budget, or decisions?
Do they simply not approve of the marriage (ouch, but it happens)?
Once you pinpoint the issue, you can tackle it with strategy instead of stress.
2. Set Boundaries (And Stick to Them!)
If your future in-laws are steamrolling your plans, it’s time for a kind but firm boundary check. Here’s how to handle common scenarios:
They’re taking over wedding planning.🎤
What to say: “We love that you’re excited, but we want to make decisions together as a couple. We’ll be sure to keep you updated!”
They’re pressuring you into traditions you don’t want.
What to say: “That’s such a beautiful tradition! We’ll think about how we can incorporate it in a way that fits our wedding vision.”
They have strong opinions on the guest list.
What to say: “We’re keeping things intimate, and unfortunately, we can’t invite everyone. We hope you understand.”
They’re criticizing your choices.
What to say: “We appreciate your input, but this is what feels right for us.”
The key is to stay respectful but unshakable. If they push back, don’t engage in an argument—just repeat your boundary and move forward.
photo: @courtneycainphoto.co
3. Divide and Conquer: Let Your Partner Take the Lead
If drama is coming from their family, it’s their job to handle it. You shouldn’t have to be the one dealing with a difficult mother-in-law or opinionated siblings.
Your fiancé should step in and say: “Mom, Dad, I know you have opinions, but this is our wedding, and we need to make decisions as a couple.”
If necessary, have a united front conversation where both of you calmly but clearly set expectations.
This prevents resentment and shows that you’re a team.
4. Don’t Engage in Petty Battles
The fastest way for wedding drama to spiral out of control? Taking the bait. If a future in-law makes a passive-aggressive comment, you don’t have to engage.
Wrong move: Snapping back, venting to everyone, or escalating the situation.
Right move: Smiling, changing the subject, or simply saying, “I appreciate your thoughts!” and moving on.
Not every comment deserves a reaction—save your energy for what truly matters.
photo - @kay.nicole.photo | floral - @soireessouthernevents | coordinator - @georgiadollevents
5. Be Strategic About Wedding Roles
If you know certain in-laws might cause trouble, don’t put them in key roles like officiant, wedding planner, or speech-giver. Instead, find a small but meaningful way to include them without giving them too much control.
Mother-in-law wants a bigger role? Ask her to help with something small, like assembling favors.
Brother-in-law is a wild card? Maybe skip the open mic speeches.
Prevention is better than damage control!
photo: @saraheubanksphoto
6. Have an Exit Plan for Wedding Day Drama
Despite your best efforts, in-law drama might still show up on the wedding day. Plan ahead:
Have a point person (like a wedding planner, bridesmaid, or sibling) to step in if things get tense.
Use distractions—send difficult family members on a “mission” (like greeting guests or handling small tasks).
Take a breather—if things get overwhelming, step away with your partner for a private moment.
Remember: This day is about YOU—not their opinions, demands, or drama.
photo - @loveleighco.photos | florals - @flowers_for_everybody | coordinator - @georgiadollevents
7. Let It Go and Focus on the Big Picture
At the end of the day, this isn’t just about a wedding—it’s about a marriage. Your in-laws will be part of your life, so pick your battles wisely.
Not worth the fight:
They don’t like your color scheme.
They think your dress is “too modern.”
They wish you’d invited more distant relatives.
Worth standing your ground:
They’re trying to control major wedding decisions.
They’re being outright disrespectful.
They’re putting stress on your relationship.
Choose peace where you can, but don’t compromise your happiness.
photo: @johnandkymcreativeco
Dealing with in-law drama can be exhausting, but remember: You and your partner are in this together. Stay united, set boundaries, and don’t let family stress overshadow your joy.
💍 Planning a wedding near Athens, Georgia? At Chapman Hill, we specialize in stress-free celebrations, helping couples create their dream day—drama-free! Schedule a tour today!
***
We are dedicated to using our platform to support locally owned wedding venues. In every blog we write, we will include 5 to 10 locally owned wedding venues who use their articles to support their colleagues and the wedding industry in ways that are not always recognized but are essential. If you are searching for a wedding venue, please consider a locally owned venue, you can find locally owned wedding venues featured on this wedding venue map.
Comments